You Are Invited to the Party!!!!!
Due to the cancellation of the Inaugural Ball for Senator Kerry... There will be a small Soiree' (pity party) for those who have already bought their attire.The nights' entertainment will be provided by the DIXIE CHICKS & Bruce Springsteen.
Tissues for excessive self pity will be furnished by Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins.We are pleased to announce DAN RATHER will be our Master of ceremonies!!!Yeah!!!! Cameron Diaz has pledged CUPCAKES!! What's this?.... a Free Screening of Fahrenheit 911! Thank you, Michael Moore. Ashton Kutcher will sign his latest book..."I open my mouth... and stupid falls out."
P Diddy will not be in attendance; he is still trying to get the vote out.If you see him, tell him that he was not "disenfranchised" from this event. He can come home now. Barbara Streisand is preparing for her next role and will not be here, (boohoo); she will be starring as Teresa Heinz Kerry in the sad story of "ShoveIt."
Ted Kennedy will be tending the bar (of course). He demanded a contract first. Serve one, drink two. Serve two, drink four - - -Just in..... Sour grapes will be provided by the Heinz Corporation. Cheeseis available with the whine. Larry Flynt will be taking "official" photos -Terry McAuliffe will be making an appearance - but only at the window - on the outside looking in. George Soros will arrive in a gilded chariot pulled by eight white horses. Teresa will be stunning in a jeweled hospital gown. She is coming directly from "election" surgery - had her lips stapled!
Susan Estrich, being picky about her diet, will be bringing her own crow. John Kerry will be flippin' the burgers... flipping is something he has proven to be very good at. Lots of Ketchup folks, the white house has donated thousands of bottles of Heinz relish, mustard, and all the pickles too. A spokesman reports theyhave switched to an alternative brand. Attention all actors: Norman Lear is casting for his new television show"Fahrenheit 11-2-04 how'd the GOP do that?"After counseling guests on moral issues, the Reverend Jesse Jackson will be sweeping up. Hope to see you all there... not much else going on.